In this blog post, I go over 10 steps on how to embrace your femininity! I would just like to note that I try my best to go by what the Orthodox Church teaches about these specific topics. This is what I believe and everyone might not agree with me and that’s okay.
So please, if you are reading this and aren’t Orthodox, try to keep an open mind! These 10 steps on how to embrace your femininity are what resonate with me when I think of the topic of how to embrace your femininity. And thank you so much for visiting my blog!!
-Lydia
10 Steps on How to Embrace Your Femininity
1. Nurture
Nurturing is when you care for someone or something so that the subject can thrive. I think a nurturing relationship that probably comes to people’s minds first is the relationship that a mother has with her children. While the mother and children relationship is very admirable, there are other relationships that women can have that are also nurturing. Such as a relationship between a women and her parents or a relationship between a woman and her garden.
You can be more nurturing by taking the time to care for someone or something so that they have room to thrive. Some examples of nurturing behavior include, bringing someone food, taking care of someone who’s sick, and talking to someone who is upset.
A good example I think of is St. Elisabeth Feodorovna Romanov. St. Elisabeth is considered a Holy Royal Martyr in the Orthodox Church, and is known for her charity towards the sick, the imprisoned, the orphaned, the widowed, and those in poverty. St. Elisabeth took care of this demographic of people by establishing a convent. The convent served the demographic of people that I listed above and nurtured them so that they could thrive.
Click here to find out more about St. Elisabeth The New Martyr.
2. Be Empathetic
Showing empathy is a wonderful skill to have, whoever you are. Empathy is different from sympathy because empathy is the ability to try and understand someone, while sympathy is just feeling sad for someone.
We can become more empathetic by trying to put ourselves in “somebody else’s shoes.” When we really try to understand why someone might feel the way that they do or act a certain way, it helps us to accomplish empathy.
Additionally, someone who comes to mind when I think of empathy is Matushka (mother) Olga of Alaska. Though not yet canonized a saint by the Orthodox Church, Matushka Olga showed great empathy towards others who suffered from abuse and trauma. In fact, a woman who had suffered from sexual abuse was praying one day and had a vision of Matushka Olga helping her heal from her past trauma. In addition, Matushka Olga is loved by many people and is also prayed to for help with conceiving a baby, taking care of children, and having the motivation to be more generous.
To find out more information about Matushka Olga, click here.
3. Be Kind
Kindness is also another trait that is so important for anyone to have! Kindness is pretty self-explanatory and makes such a huge difference when you pay it forward!
In addition, kindness is another trait of femininity that applies to everyone. Kindness is essentially putting others first, showing respect, and having manners.
One example of someone who I lookup to and admire is St. Juliana the Merciful. St. Juliana was a wife and mother of seven kids. St. Juliana took the time to take care of the hungry, the sick, and those in poverty. It should be noted that St. Juliana didn’t just stop at giving someone only a portion of her food, but all of her food.
St. Juliana is truly a wonderful example for mothers and homemakers to aspire to be like. For more information about St. Juliana the Merciful, click here.
To nurture, to be empathetic, and to be kind all go hand in hand on how to embrace your femininity.
Often times, when you are focusing on one of these traits, the other two come into play as well.
For example, lets say you volunteer to tutor a nine year old who needs some help with math. You would be nurturing the child by helping her to learn and make connections. Additionally, you might feel empathetic towards the girl because at one time you also struggled with math. And lastly, you are being kind because you are giving up your own time to help out the little girl.
How can I be more nurturing, empathetic, and kind?
One idea would be to think of ways that you could give back to your community. Maybe you could volunteer at a food pantry or homeless shelter. At a homeless shelter, for instance, you would be displaying both nurturing and kind characteristics. The last trait you would need would be empathy. Again, empathy can be achieved by thinking of another’s situation and really trying to understand where they are coming from or why they are doing what they are doing.
4. Practice Humility
I’ve never met someone who I look up to or aspire to be more like that isn’t humble. Humility is hard but can be accomplished. St. Theodora of Alexandria is a good example of humility. After committing adultery, St. Theodora felt ashamed of herself and confessed her sin to God. She then went to live at a men’s monastery and dressed as a man to disguise herself from her husband. Later, St. Theodora ended getting caught up in a sin that she didn’t commit and so, out of humility, she endured the consequence with the love for God in her heart. To find out more about the life of St. Theodora of Alexandria, click here.
How can I practice humility?
You can start by practicing humility by thinking humble thoughts of yourself, such as, everything I have is because God allowed me to have it. Without God, I would have nothing. Another way to be humble is to also acknowledge help from God when someone compliments you and not to let the comment make you proud. When you respond to the person who complemented you say “thank you” but also say “glory to God.”
I think that you’ll start to find that even just taking the time to make these two changes to how you think and how you respond will really make a difference.
Lastly, I thought that I would also add this great quote by St. Porphyrios, “Complete trust in God- that’s what holy humility is.”
5. Be Gentle
I would argue that being gentle plays a big role in femininity. However, being gentle doesn’t have to just stop at how we physical handle something.
How can I be gentle?
One can be gentle by the tone of voice that they use. Your tone of voice has a huge impact on those around you and is a way for you to express yourself. Feminine women tend to stay calm and collected, and try not to raise their voices unless they don’t have a choice. Also, try to carry yourself with grace and elegance because gentleness and grace go hand in hand.
6. Express Your Creativity
Creativity is a very healthy way to give your brain a workout, and is a tool that you can potentially use to enhance the lives of those around you. For instance, you could express your creativity through baking and sharing your food with your friends and relatives.
How can I express my creativity?
Again, since we live such busy lives, it can be hard to even take some time for ourselves to pursue something as little as a hobby. Hobbies are great tools that can be used to express our inner creativity. Whether it’s baking, painting, or even writing a blog post, there are endless possibilities that can help you to best express your creativity in an enjoyable way.
7. Learn How To Best Communicate
Learning how to properly communicate your opinions and ideas can be difficult for some, especially those who tend to be a bit more shy. I believe that one of the downsides to social media is that people don’t communicate like they used to. It is much easier to hide behind a screen and write things then it is to discuss certain topics face to face.
How to embrace your femininity so that you can best communicate?
Something that really helped me to better communicate is to think about how I would feel if I didn’t express something and how I would then hold myself responsible for not clearly communicating with the other person or people. Good communication is one of the ways to keep a healthy relationship with your significant other. However, to have good communication, you both must be willing to be vulnerable and comfortable with each other so that you are able to confidently share all that you want.
Here are some tips for improving communication.
- Listen intently to the other person
- Think about what you want to say
- Use an appropriate tone of voice
- Keep the other person’s feelings in mind
- Get straight to the point
8. Lean Into Your God Given Beauty
I believe that every woman is beautiful. And from the Orthodox Church’s perspective, “God is beauty,” and “we are all made in the image of God.”
What can I do to lean into my God given beauty?
Here’s a list that can help you achieve this beauty.
- Dress how you want to promote yourself to others. There’s a time and a place for certain outfits, so try to dress accordingly. Also, dressing appropriate for your age is also a good rule of thumb. Lastly, embracing femininity for some could mean dressing in clothes that are more traditionally meant for women, such as dresses or skirts or even flowy blouses.
- Practice good hygiene
- Take the time to take care of yourself. You could go to the spa, get your hair done, etc.
- Read scripture or religious books that might pertain to womanhood or mothering such as, Fertile Ground: A Pilgrimage Through Pregnancy and A Sacred Beginning: Nurturing Your Body, Mind, and Soul during Baby’s First Forty Days.
9. Practice Self-Control
Self-control is another virtue that is very difficult to master, but not impossible. I believe that self-control isn’t only essential for how to embrace your femininity, but also for becoming more mature mentally and spiritually.
How to embrace your femininity gaining self-control
According to the Orthodox Church, it is through the grace of God that we can attain full self-control over the passions. Our passions are known by the Orthodox Church as the lusts of the flesh and the mind. However, these lusts aren’t to be confused with feeling that are natural, such as the need for food, sleep, etc. Rather, these lusts happen when we become slaves to our own sinful pleasures.
“Thus it is only communion with God, through Christ and the Holy Spirit, that gives the power of self-control to the rational creature of God.” So, through the sacrament of holy communion we can acquire grace from God to help with our self-control.
10. Try to Slow Down
I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Freely Rooted Podcast, when I heard about the idea of living a slower life. Now, this idea isn’t foreign to me. In fact, after I got married and found out that I was pregnant for the first time, I stopped working full time to become a stay-at-home mom and homemaker.
To me, staying at home really changed the pace of my life, and I believe that it was for the better! I had such a hard time getting up to get ready for work somedays and I really liked my job. I was an advocate at a local domestic violence shelter. It should be noted that I loved that I could help men, women, and children break free from vicious cycles and give them resources to help grow. However, I never really felt completely fulfilled being an advocate.
Now, I feel like I’m finally doing a job that is the most fulfilling to me! Being a mom is one of the things that I love the most. There’s never a day that goes by where I feel like I should be doing something else. So because I am a stay-at-home mom, I have a schedule that better fits my lifestyle. I am able to live a slower paced life now that feels natural to me. That’s not to say that I don’t believe in women working at all. If you are a women who wants to work and feels that it’s fulfilling, then that’s great! This is just my experience and how I feel.
How can I slow down?
Since we tend to live such fast paced lives, taking a day just to relax once a week could really make a difference. Also, spending less time on social media and using that time to just be living “in the moment,” is also a wonderful idea! Additionally, like I said above, being able to stay at home made a huge difference for me. Now I know that some women can’t stay home for one reason or another, but if you are on the fence about it, I highly recommend it!
A conclusion on 10 steps on how to embrace your femininity.
In conclusion, all of these traits can be associated with a woman and her femininity. However, I believe that most of these traits are important for everyone to learn to have, not just women.
You can take and leave whatever of these traits resonate with you! These are just 10 steps that I thought of when I think of how to embrace your femininity. I know that people come from many different backgrounds and cultures and I respect that. Thank you for reading with an open mind!
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